examples
Four situations with four potential interventions with different levels of impact on you. Each situation could imply a higher emotional level of engagement, which can reduce your lucidity and listening ability when you need it the most.
1. Looking for alternatives internally
Someone on your team or a colleague is seeking internal options and is asking for guidance and advice. Your first reaction: congrats!! With sincerity, say congrats! This employee or colleague is taking the initiative to continue his journey in exploring new territories, and he is looking for support or feedback. Potential second reaction? Thank him for coming to see you; it demonstrates trust in you.
Someone on your team or a colleague is seeking internal options and is asking for
Questions you could use during the discussion.
One trap: it is not an interview, so give him all the spaces. This list of questions is intended to provide insight into exploring the different aspects of this kind of decision, thereby helping the person gain a good understanding of why and what they are looking for. Your goal: make sure he will make the right choice for himself, by doing so, limit the risk of not being happy in his next role, and thus not succeeding in it.
- What are you looking for with this new position?
- Which competencies or skills do you want to develop within this new position?
- It’s related to your workload. (Peak, average, Seasonality…)
- Are you looking for a different energy level, intensity….
- New colleagues?
If you perceive a doubt or hesitation.
Ask an open-ended question that addresses this doubt. And you can stay silent! The silence is an integral part of the discussion and can bring many valuable insights.
This discussion is not about you; it’s about him and his future. Thus, help him articulate the why?
With sincerity and good faith, you may also want to help him in asking:
- Are you looking for a different leadership style?
- Are you looking for a different ambiance?
- Are you missing something in your current role?
Your polar star in this discussion: make sure that no matter what decision he makes, leave or stay, he is at peace with this decision and certain that it is the right choice for him.
2. Navigating promotion expectations
The second situation involves an expectation of promotion. Guide the individual to express their motivators, whether it is ego, a desire for acknowledgment, the perception that a title is the best way to achieve this, a wish to explore new territories, raise the bar, or simply a need for change. All these reasons, taken individually or in combination, are valid. Helping them articulate their motivations will ensure that their goals are aligned with the move.
Assist them in expressing their real needs, what they enjoy doing in their day-to-day activities, and what they dislike. Ensure they understand what their new experience will entail. For example, if they want to be a manager, they should be prepared for budget management, tough discussions, and potential loneliness. Knowing what to expect and conducting a sincere assessment of the positives and negatives will strengthen their decision-making process.
This process is not easy, but it is fascinating.
You will rediscover that everyone is different, and their ability to navigate this exercise varies. Some young individuals have a strong plan and know precisely what they want to achieve in the next ten years, while others, more advanced in their careers, may struggle to express their goals. Neither is better than the other. Acknowledge these differences and help people navigate this time of introspection and projection. Everyone has a role in which they can achieve their best and feel aligned. As managers, our role is to offer the best options for our employees to reach their full potential in the long run.
During discussions, you may perceive a gap.
The person might be in the best position for them, but seeing colleagues change roles or get promoted may lead them to believe that they are static and not succeeding. Society often encourages growth as an indicator of success, creating social pressure. If you perceive this gap, your coaching strategy could involve creating a pros and cons list of their current position and identifying potential changes for them or their surroundings. Sometimes, a simple title change, along with some financial adjustments, can help them feel they are progressing, reducing social pressure, and keeping them engaged.
Listening is crucial. Do not start with preconceived ideas. Let them express their feelings and growth desires, and see how you can support them in their quest. Do this with a sincere willingness to help, in complete authenticity and transparency.
3. Leave for an external opportunity
The third situation is more delicate: when someone expresses the willingness to leave the company. Depending on where they are in their decision cycle, they may either need a simple confirmation of their decision or still be hesitant. It is essential to listen, understand their motivation, and help them articulate their expectations. Do not pre-empt what they are thinking; instead, assist them in expressing and articulating their thoughts.
One of the traps
to avoid is making promises that you later deny. If you do this, they will understand that they need to threaten you to get what they want. This is neither respectful to them nor to their colleagues. Promotions should be based on business needs and employee readiness, not threats.
If you were preparing the next steps for them, share what you were planning and propose an internal rebound if you strongly believe in this person. Sincerity and authenticity should guide these discussions. If, after all the proposals, they still decide to leave, thank them for their contribution and congratulate them. Someone taking the lead in their career and journey deserves only supportive words.
Leaving their position,
company, and colleagues is not an easy or casual decision. If people change service or department, they will still be around, so they are leaving but not quitting. When someone decides to move away from the company, they will likely lose contact with their former colleagues, and those who were part of their daily discussions and support will vanish. During this time, the person will go through several phases similar to grieving, alongside the excitement of what comes next. It is a complex time of mixed feelings for them, their colleagues, and you. Being present and conscious of what others are going through will showcase your genuine interest in them and their well-being, providing significant relief to your entire group and maintaining overall efficiency.
Being genuine, maintaining a positive atmosphere, and trusting in the future are key to your group’s success. Our humanity is our most effective lever for driving business, as it keeps our team engaged and focused. It is often overlooked, and our emotions can cause us to focus on the short term, which can ultimately demobilize the team and induce more harm than good.
4. A colleague or employee in difficult time
When someone, be it a colleague or employee, expresses distress, it’s a moment that calls for great care. The workplace, shaped by impactful events and shifting conditions, can leave deep emotional marks. This isn’t necessarily the result of intentional harm; rather, it reflects the evolving nature of business, where changes like workforce reductions or relocations can erode trust and leave individuals feeling disconnected.
Seeing the Wounds Clearly: Empathy as a Strategic Leadership Skill
To remain competitive, companies may need to adjust their structure and location. At the same time, employees’ lives and priorities evolve, and that shift can create tension between personal needs and organizational direction. That’s why transparency and honesty are essential. Defining what the company can realistically offer helps build trust and prevents promises that, if broken, only deepen the wounds. As a leader, it is crucial to help others understand their position and the depth of their wounds. Being non-judgmental, authentic, and empathetic is the only way to assist others effectively.
Such an attitude will benefit all parties involved, the impacted person, the group, and you. As a leader, you may have contributed to the outcome; therefore, it’s essential to acknowledge your role and learn from the experience. Listen sincerely and with heart to the impacted person, focusing on their needs rather than your own. They are the ones making the decision to move on and experiencing the loss. As a human being, take only what belongs to you and define what you can do differently next time. Softening this transition will be beneficial for everyone.
Throughout my career, I have led several initiatives involving workforce reductions, site closures, or reorganizations. These decisions, although sound from a business perspective, were still painful for the individuals affected and had a profound impact on their lives. The survivors, those who stay, are also harmed by seeing their colleagues let go and may need help navigating times of uncertainty with damaged trust.
The way you lead during these times will protect the trust within your team and reduce the risk of further harm.
Conclusion
For you the impacted person, when feeling worn out, the best way to rebound is often to seek a fresh environment. One key piece of advice is to take time off between leaving your current job and starting a new one. Reflecting on your experiences and engaging in introspection will be pivotal in identifying and embarking on your next chapter.
To wrap up, all is about your employees and colleagues; your goal should be to help them gain clarity on the why and the what. Do not let your emotions blur your listening. Your humanity is your compass to help them navigate this exploration or transition phase. The softer and cooler this time is, the less impact it will have on your group.
Question: And you, how do you help people during this transition?
Read the part 1 explaining the steps we are going through during such transition.
Discover the part 3: Why departure is a good news ?
Coaching or Mentoring: Your Choice, Your Growth
I’m Franck Dervault, drawing on years of professional experience and now advancing toward certification as a coach. I offer two distinct paths:
- Coaching to help you unlock your own potential through reflection, presence, and guided discovery.
- Mentoring to share lessons, strategies, and insights from my career so you can navigate challenges with confidence.
Whichever path you choose, my goal is the same: to help you realize that you are wiser than you think, with immense potential waiting to be unlocked.
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