Workplace loneliness is a subject rarely discussed. Last week, La Presse, a Quebec newspaper, explored it in depth. The article captured beautifully how solitude can be felt within organizations, how colleagues can create a social safety net, and how deeply its absence can affect us.
The manager loneliness, a real-life example.
This reality is especially true for managers. Read a first article : My Solitudes and My Lights, the Manager’s Blues.
By the very nature of their role, much like HR professionals, they often experience an acute form of solitude in certain dimensions of their work.
Preparing a layoff wave
I have lived this firsthand when faced with a difficult decision: reducing the size of my team. Although the choice aligned with budgetary constraints designed to ensure the company’s sustainability, it was nonetheless heavy to carry. Every manager confronted with the need to balance budgets and staffing faces this same dilemma.
And that is when solitude becomes palpable. Even surrounded, you find yourself alone with the responsibility. It was me, and me alone, who had to decide which missions or services would no longer be delivered, and therefore, which positions would be eliminated. A decision that cannot be delegated. A burden that cannot be shared.
Once the positions are defined, the process shifts to identifying the individuals.
The days of waiting
Then begins the waiting period, as the machinery of the layoff moves forward and the date approaches. Each day, you go to the office knowing what is coming. You must remain positive, keep the team engaged, and hold the line.
And each day, you meet, talk, and collaborate with the very people you will soon have to let go. That silent tension, that painful proximity, is part of the role.
This work is carried out with the support of HR. Often, a firm specializing in career transition is also engaged. With their help, the legal aspects are managed, and the tone of the message is carefully prepared. In practice, most of the focus goes into preparing the day itself, the mechanics, the impact on employees. What is often forgotten is preparing oneself.
Because ultimately, this decision is yours. You will be the one delivering the message. Take the time to reread it, to weigh each word.
The day,
The day before the layoff, you may share a coffee with them. And, the next day, you must tell them the journey ends. That contrast creates a chilling sense of solitude, one that few management manuals describe or prepare you to face. On that day, you must be fully present, for the employees you are letting go, and for those who remain.
What you must plan for, in the evening, is a friend, a shoulder, a source of support. You too need space to step back, to prepare yourself to be present the next day. Each of those days left its mark on me; each taught me lessons in humanity. And if you think it will not affect you, you are mistaken.
The aftermath
For the employees who remain, your time and energy will be devoted to explaining, rationalizing, and supporting. You will need to clarify which missions continue and which end. If the structure of your organization changes, you must explain it and ease the transition. In these phases, even more than usual, listening and empathy become your most important actions.
For managers who have already lived through this, perhaps several times, share your story. And if your company enters a period of downsizing, be a mentor to those who have never faced it. Do not let them go through it without support. Because what they will feel that day, the strong emotions, the obligation to do things right, we have lived it.
To help navigate such moments,
here are some guiding points for the day of the announcement:
Key Steps in Delivering the Message
- Prepare the message: Keep it simple, direct, and factual. Explain that the decision is economic; it is not about the person, but about eliminating the position because activities are being reduced.
- Respect the initial shock: After the announcement, the person’s mind is overwhelmed. Allow silence. Give time before sharing further information.
- Avoid missteps: Do not say “I understand” or “I have no choice.” These phrases minimize the pain or shift responsibility.
- Accompany with dignity: Offer a tissue, remain present, show empathy without excess, protect the person.
Practical Advice for Managers
- Anticipate solitude and seek support: Recognize that this moment will be difficult. Prepare mentally. Identify a peer, mentor, or coach to support you.
- Maintain healthy distance: Limit emotional bias to remain impartial, while still being human.
- Name your emotions: Accept that sadness or guilt exist, but don’t let them drive the decision, and don’t hide them.
- Redistribute quickly: Stop the activities you identified to reduce workload and reassign remaining tasks. Help the “survivors” regain rhythm and meaning, because they too experience shock.
References for Further Reading
- Harvard Business Review – How to Communicate Layoffs to Your Staff
- Explains how to announce layoffs with respect and clarity.
- Highlights common mistakes leaders make and offers a playbook to maintain trust and engagement.
- Harvard Business Review – How to Manage Your Team’s Workload After Layoffs
- Addresses managing the “survivors” after a wave of layoffs.
- SHRM – Conducting Layoffs and Reductions in Force: Essential Strategies
- Provides communication tools, policy templates, and advice for handling workforce adjustments with compassion and legal compliance.
Conclusion
Being a manager sometimes means making decisions that isolate you. But it is also an opportunity to show humanity, to preserve the dignity of those affected, and to maintain team cohesion.
Here is a simple checklist to support you, easy to adapt and expand:
Quick Checklist for Managers: Layoffs & Re-engagement
Tip:
Keep this checklist close at hand. Review it before each key step. In less than two minutes, you’ll have the essentials to act with clarity and humanity.
And you, what would your advice be?
🛠️ Put into practice the day of announcement
Anticipate solitude:
identify in advance a peer, mentor, or coach with whom you can talk.
Release emotions:
plan a moment after the announcement to speak, decompress, and gain perspective.
Avoid isolation:
do not carry the weight of the decision alone, even if the responsibility is yours.
👉 These three simple actions strengthen your leadership posture and unlock your potential.
Coaching or Mentoring: Your Choice, Your Growth
I’m Franck Dervault, drawing on years of professional experience and now advancing toward certification as a coach. I offer two distinct paths:
- Coaching to help you unlock your own potential through reflection, presence, and guided discovery.
- Mentoring to share lessons, strategies, and insights from my career so you can navigate challenges with confidence.
Whichever path you choose, my goal is the same: to help you realize that you are wiser than you think, with immense potential waiting to be unlocked.
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