« Hello, I’d like to speak with you in private.
Of course, let’s take a room.
So, I’m going to have a child; we’re only in the second month, so I wouldn’t want it to get out yet, but I thought it was important for you to know so you can organize yourself. »
I’ve had this conversation at least ten times in my career as a manager and twice as a person.
For all those who are going to welcome the arrival of a child—paternity, maternity, adoption, temporarily as a foster family—this moment is precious, unique, and therefore rare in a lifetime. We are a society, and taking care of children guarantees our future for everyone; they will be the people who advance society, and when we are at the twilight of our lives, they will help our family and us through this transition. As this moment is precious, it is when you are ready to share this information that it is the right time to do so. As managers, our role is to help our group adapt to changing conditions.
The trap
For you:
Feeling a little guilty about taking time off, fearing for your career and progression, and therefore rushing your return. The first few months after a new member joins your family are precious; you will evolve and discover new aspects of yourself. These moments will not return, so live them fully, being fully present, for them, for you, for your family.
For the manager:
You immediately switch to solution mode, asking when the person will leave, checking the schedule, and rushing to HR to say, « I have another paternity leave, I need a replacement… » No, I don’t know if he wants to take longer…. By switching into this mode, you are not present for your employee at that precise moment of their sharing.
The approach.
So, let’s start with: « That’s wonderful news! How are you doing? How is it going? Take your time, and we’ll discuss when and how we inform the teams. » Because it’s wonderful to share such news.
Focus on the instant, on the positive, show that this is what’s essential! By focusing on the positive, you will manage this type of situation in a completely different way. When the team is informed, work with them and the person who will be absent on the different approaches and opportunities. This moment offers opportunities for:
- People to broaden their role,
- Bringing someone temporarily into your group,
- Rethinking the overall plan
- And perhaps some initiatives can be postponed.
Work on the plan as a whole with everyone. In doing so, you also plan how the person will return and continue their role or start a new one, and this will remove a worry or that slight doubt.
The duration of absence
When I became a father, in the previous millennium, the duration of absence was 3 days in France… Paternity leave came much later. And even taking the three days was not always well regarded. For a mother, it was 6 weeks before birth and 10 weeks after, very little to accompany this moment. And in addition to these very short times, gaps in the CV were frowned upon. The question was also systematically asked at hiring: Do you plan to have children in the next ten years? At that time, parenthood was perceived as an impediment to the proper functioning of the company; it was not systematic, but widespread.
Encourage your employees to make the most of this time when they welcome a new family member, allowing them to choose a duration that suits their life best. Their career will not be impacted, and that is part of your role as a manager.
The winning break
During this period, your employee will evolve. Parenthood changes us, makes us evolve. They will discover or strengthen their attention to another, discover themselves even more, and they will work on their patience. This period marks a significant transformation for your employees, as they will return with new skills. This will impact your team dynamics. Use this as a coaching axis upon their return to help them understand what they have learned. By assisting them in becoming aware of their knowledge, you will increase the positive return for the group. This professional break is therefore complete of self-learning, and is anything but empty from a professional point of view. And we, as managers, can guide our employees to realize this and to use these new skills.
Conclusion
Our first reaction as managers is to seek the solution ourselves, as we believe it’s our role. Consequently, we respond to this temporary absence with a plan that we will carry out. It is therefore this burden that we risk making the employee feel, and this does not create a positive experience. Our role is to guide our team in maximizing collective intelligence. Your objective is to make this period positive by leveraging your group’s intelligence and defining the plan together, considering all possible options.
With this approach, you will show your group that each of them matters to the company, that parenthood is an opportunity for everyone, and for the group.
Ensure each parental leave is a strong positive moment that strengthens your team.
Why this text?
Because I will soon become a grandfather, my daughter and son-in-law are currently experiencing this unique moment, without yet measuring all they will learn. They are lucky: their managers have been able to see the positive side of this stage and fully support them. But not everyone is so fortunate. Even if a company has a culture that protects and values people, some managers may not always react adequately. That’s why I felt it was time to talk about it. And as 2025 is definitely shaping up to be an exceptional year, three of my colleagues will also discover this happiness.
iscover others?
🛠️ Three simple actions to welcome this news within your team
Acknowledge the news… and truly pause
When an employee announces a new parenthood, take time to talk about them and their family.
No planning. No dates. No logistics.
A genuine human moment.
Take the time to plan
Discuss how the team will stay organized during their absence and how to prepare their return.
Involve the team. Tell the employee explicitly to take the time they need and that their career will not be impacted in any way. It must be said clearly to remove any doubt.
Plan a gentle return
Support them, for example through coaching, to help them recognize the new strengths and abilities that parenthood has brought them.
👉 These three simple actions strengthen your leadership posture and unlock your potential.
Coaching or Mentoring: Your Choice, Your Growth
I’m Franck Dervault, drawing on years of professional experience and now advancing toward certification as a coach. I offer two distinct paths:
- Coaching to help you unlock your own potential through reflection, presence, and guided discovery.
- Mentoring to share lessons, strategies, and insights from my career so you can navigate challenges with confidence.
Whichever path you choose, my goal is the same: to help you realize that you are wiser than you think, with immense potential waiting to be unlocked.
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