As a manager, one of the most delicate responsibilities is to manage inappropriate behaviors and attitudes within our teams. These situations, often subjective and complex, can significantly impact team dynamics, productivity, and even company culture. It requires managerial courage and it is essential to adopt a proactive and thoughtful approach to address them.
What is an Inappropriate Attitude?
Subjectivity is at the heart of this question. What is perceived as inappropriate by one person may not be so for another, whether intentionally or not. However, some attitudes cross the line and require intervention. It is crucial to ask: is this attitude demotivating for the team? Does it conflict with the company’s values? Is what you see and feel shared by others? Not acting can be seen as an excuse to avoid confrontation, and it sends a strong message within the organization. Tolerating the unacceptable is not a viable option in business.
the first example is the negative person
- Sometimes, some people seem to see the glass as half empty constantly. Colleagues never seem to measure up, other departments don’t keep their promises, and even the weather is never favorable. One feels that when this person arrives, the cheerful atmosphere vanishes, giving way to a certain gloom. If everything is perceived negatively, if no one seems to find favor in their eyes, it is possible that this person is going through a difficult period and that their view of the world is tinged with inner suffering.
A second-one is a person in pain
- Sometimes, a once-radiant person gets lost after organizational changes. Touched by the suffering of others, they no longer understand their company. Far from being a bad person, they are going through an ordeal and need support. The first step is to help them express their emotions. If these difficulties are related to a significant change, let’s acknowledge the grieving process together and accompany them through the stages. If, despite everything, they remain in a negative spiral, let’s help them decide for themselves. This decision, however difficult, could be to choose between a plan to regain their momentum and change their attitude or to consider leaving.
Another one is the autocratic technical leader
- He considers any question as a personal attack. Difficult to manage, they choose their collaborators, share little, and avoid any controversy. They exclude cross-functional roles and peers, preferring to decide alone. To justify their approach, they claim that no one has the skills in all support functions. Their goal is to maintain absolute control. And if the results are bad, they will seek to find excuses because it cannot be their fault. This divisive attitude isolates them from other functions and limits the creativity of the group.
And additional examples
- Verbal violence, lack of respect, inappropriate language, gossip, and refusal to listen to others are other examples. In fact, this list could fill several books, and the heart of the question is: how should we manage this?
The manager must understand what generates these harmful attitudes that significantly disrupt the functioning of their group and, therefore, take action to protect their team, the relationships between groups, and the company. Even if we can understand the reasons, we must give clear and factual feedback to the person, make them understand what it induces in others, and provide them with a chance to change their behavior. And that’s where our role ends. The employee must also take their share of responsibility and, therefore, change.
Faced with these attitudes, the manager must act with courage and discernment.
Since you don’t know how your intervention to resolve this problem will end, note the incidents, observed behaviors, and their impacts. By doing this, you will have precise facts to present: what you observed, the context, and the time. For the next step, never hesitate to discuss the situation with HR support or an experienced managerial colleague. You should not remain alone in the face of this situation. After this preparation, have an individual discussion: speak directly to the person concerned in a closed office. Explain the impact of their attitude on others, seek to understand the underlying reasons, and explore solutions together. This step is crucial for awareness. and it will require managerial courage.
A very good tool : the 360
In some situations, you can recommend a very good tool: the 360° feedback. This will provide them with valuable insight. Be careful, this 360° must be personalized based on the job description, the RACI (Responsible, Accountable, Consulted, Informed) matrix, and the organizational structure. Moreover, the number of people who respond must ensure confidentiality to free up speech.
If the person does not recognize the problem, you need to intervene with a clear action plan
If, after that, the person does not become aware or denies the situation, work with the HR teams to define an action plan. The most important thing is not to remain alone: discuss the situation with HR, the legal department, and your manager. Document all these discussions. This documentation has two objectives. The most important of these objectives is its effect of rationalizing the facts. This allows you to remove emotion from the decision, bringing it back to the facts and impacts. With this approach, discussed and written, you will be sure to take the necessary step back to have the fairest decision possible. The second objective is the creation of a file that becomes disciplinary and will serve as a reference for the extended team.
Last piece of advice: don’t delay. This kind of situation rarely improves on its own. Not managing the situation sends a strong message to the rest of the organization. After a few months, you absolutely must act; otherwise, you will normalize this attitude.
As a key takeaway
Managing inappropriate attitudes is a challenge, but it is also an opportunity to grow as a human being and to help your team grow. I requires managerial courage and your employees deserve these discussions. You deserve these discussions. Your company needs them. By acting with courage, discernment, and empathy, you can transform these difficult situations into opportunities for development and strengthen the cohesion of your team.
🛠️ Three simple actions to detect and protect people
Observe, note, and objectify before intervening
As soon as a behavior seems problematic:
observe without interpreting, note precise facts (date, context, impact),
check whether others perceive the same thing.
You turn a subjective impression into a solid factual foundation.
It’s the best protection against bias… and against mistakes.
Have a quick, direct, and compassionate one‑on‑one conversation
Never let the situation drag on.
In a private and safe space:
explain the impact of the behavior,
ask what’s happening behind it,
seek to understand before seeking to correct,
explore possible solutions together.
This conversation is often the turning point.
Set up an intervention plan if the behavior persists
If awareness doesn’t happen:
build an action plan with Human Resources,
clarify expectations, timelines, and consequences,
keep documenting, stay factual, calm, and consistent.
Not acting means normalizing the unacceptable — and sending the wrong message to the whole team.
👉 These three simple actions strengthen your leadership posture and unlock your potential.
Coaching or Mentoring: Your Choice, Your Growth
I’m Franck Dervault, drawing on years of professional experience and now advancing toward certification as a coach. I offer two distinct paths:
- Coaching to help you unlock your own potential through reflection, presence, and guided discovery.
- Mentoring to share lessons, strategies, and insights from my career so you can navigate challenges with confidence.
Whichever path you choose, my goal is the same: to help you realize that you are wiser than you think, with immense potential waiting to be unlocked.
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